What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Steve Jobs.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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