I am a real homosexual

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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dog

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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stuff and dogs {()}

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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