What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops