Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +13

American Idol

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Muslim blows up a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the man die? he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops