What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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