What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

Jacob Edwards has friends.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

Women's rights

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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