Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Grapefruit.

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nine...eleven

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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