A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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69

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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women's rights

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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Black people are clen.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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