What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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Get in the van

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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