How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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My sister has to take a dump

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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fart

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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