Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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NEVER

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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knock knock Come in.

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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Dear John,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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