how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

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potato

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penisface

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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Religion

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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The horse said "nay."

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your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

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SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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My mom's dead

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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