There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

Women

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

Tacos

A man. That is all.

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

stuff and dogs {()}

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Tweet.

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

Gadaffi

What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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