Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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