what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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