Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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Fruitcake

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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