whats red white and blue? i dont know

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

haha.

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...