Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

Communism ... ... ... ... ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

Dan O'Driscoll

How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

What's red and green? A frog in a blender

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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