A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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Exactly what?

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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George W. Bush

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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