Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops