Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops