Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A bar walks into your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down +18

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +16

justin littleton. nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

yo mama so fat she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mum is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops