Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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I LIKE TURLES.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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