Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Women rights..

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, stones are gray, this poem is obvious, YOU DONT SAY??

thumb_up thumb_down +28

where's waldo? in a picture book.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

thumb_up thumb_down +24

there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops