A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

throbbing slobber

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The geese of Growmore

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If life throws you lemons Catch them

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A fish walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

25

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops