9/11/01 walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the mole say? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +12

God is religiously proven to be real

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops