An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's 9 +10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Brett Farve

thumb_up thumb_down +22

justin littleton. nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

johann grayson being liked

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops