Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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im jewish

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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Aodhan Hearty

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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Freedom of Speech

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justin littleton. nuff said

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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