Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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Go away.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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Why....... Because.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Small breasts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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