Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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no

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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