Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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