What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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