Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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