A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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