How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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