Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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civil rights

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops