I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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knock knock Goodbye

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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