What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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A bar walks into a man

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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