So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Suck pussy

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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