My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

your face

Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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