Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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25

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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