A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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