Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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