Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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