Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops