How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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