Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

What did the dubstep say? Wub.

boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

God is real.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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