Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops