Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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civil rights

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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