When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Death by kayak

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Cripples are lame.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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