why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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