How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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