How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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your life

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And you honored it I see :P

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And now a word from our sponsors

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops