Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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