What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops