Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops