whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i saw amango it splootered

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops