Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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school homewrok

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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White men's rights

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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