my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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