What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops