Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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