What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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