Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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roses are red poo is poo

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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