A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops