Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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civil rights

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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