So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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