What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

thumb_up thumb_down -49

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops