How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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Guide on how to make the color yellow for yourself! First, you grab green, and then you remove all the blue... AND YELLOW COLOR GET! While you are reading this I am fingering your sister... WHAAAAT? She is only a baby you say? Well... Moral: Ugh... The ending was so wrong in so many ways... I should totally rewrite this and call it EXTENDED DIRECTORS EDITION... I cant bother... Oren The laroM naM! OR !naM laroM ehT oreN So anyway, Christiaaaans, its ask and you shall receive right? Virgin Mary is not virgin anymore because I asked if you know what I mean... ;) NOW FIRE THE STORM OF RED THUMBS MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE! I AM THE RED DRAGON.... OR EVEN WORSE... I AM THE DARK LORD SANTA!!!!!! Nevermind, ugh... Santa is just too disgusting, sorry, I meant Satan, phew, thats a relief on my concience... I should probably take my finger out of your sister... ...And insert the GREAT BIGGUS DICKUS! Your sister only two years? Ugh... Well, SHE WILL GROW INTO IT... Ugh, I dont wanna post this, but I bet Ryu sometimes dont want to go HADOUUUUKEEEEEEN Just so a slow projectile takes of like 2 percent of his enemies life... SO... One TWO TH... Oh wait, I must solvemedia first. Ice to meet you? Thats pathetic.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops