Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

Knock knock. Its open.

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

your mom.

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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