A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

mmm i love marble bumhole

i am a dino. RAWR.

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

ur gey

Why? Because.

Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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