What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Suck pussy

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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