there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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