You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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