what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops