What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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