Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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