Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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