Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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