Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

I have a really funny joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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