When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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