why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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