There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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