How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

thumb_up thumb_down

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

thumb_up thumb_down

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops