What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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