I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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