How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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guess what? bannanas

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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school homewrok

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops