What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

what looks like a banana? a penis

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

69

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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