I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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