hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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