Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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Charlie Sheen

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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You having friends.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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