How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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