How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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