The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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