Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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