What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops