Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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