What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Knock Knock.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops