A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

What's 9+10? 19

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

your mama's so fat... that's it

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...