A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Ross.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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