Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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miha kako si?

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops