What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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I have a really funny joke.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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