Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops