What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

Yo Momma So Fat!

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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