two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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