How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

Do the roar!

You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...