What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

thumb_up thumb_down -14

i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops