Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Screw it you write the joke.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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why girl die cancer

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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bite me

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Dyslexia ruels!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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