whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +45

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

american idol

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A possesed goat: "moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops